Why I Waited

I  don't think I've ever written a post-mortem before. How do you start these things?

I started designing I Wish I Were A Robot 2 years ago around the "shiver" mechanic representing the  intrusive thoughts. There's some variable tracking going on the in background when the player decides whether or not to listen to the thoughts,  which can slightly alter 2 interactions in the game. The ending of the game is always the same regardless, because I made a conscious decision not to let the game be defeating. That wasn't my intention when designing the game. There's no fail state.

That being said, this was a personal game to write and design-- probably the most vulnerable thing I've put out. As with all of my other autobiographical games, I took an experience from a time in my life, processed it, sat on it, decided the fiction, and then wrote. This is a work of fiction but the emotions and feelings were real-- I want to stress that I would NOT have published this game if:

1. My depression was debilitating and I was suicidal. 

2. I didn't have feedback and encouragement from my Therapist.

My well-being came first. I think this was important for me to put out, and I'm glad I did, but I wanted to wait a year first. Then a pandemic happened (continues to happen, mask up and get vaxxed) and it didn't feel appropriate to put something this heavy out. Anyway, that's it. Thanks for playing.

-Emma